Infidelity is one of the deepest betrayals you can experience.
Infidelity can leave you feeling furious, heartbroken, and wondering if things will ever feel normal again. It can shatter your trust and leave you questioning everything. Many of my clients who experience infidelity feel:
- “How could they do this to me?”
- “What’s wrong with them that they’d betray me like this?”
- “After everything we’ve built, how could they risk it all?”
If these thoughts resonate with you, I want you to know that your feelings are completely valid. This betrayal cuts deep, and you don’t need to soften your anger or rush through the pain. You deserve a space to feel every emotion and make sense of it. My goal is to help you work through this hurt and, if you both choose, rebuild your relationship.
What does it look like to recover from an affair?
Every couple’s path is different. Some choose to work through the pain and rebuild, while others may decide that separation is best. My role is to support you in reaching clarity and finding a path that feels right for you.
If you decide to work on the relationship, here’s what healing might look like:
- A stronger, more honest relationship – Some couples find that working through infidelity brings them to a place of greater honesty and openness.
- Clarity and empowerment – This journey can be an opportunity to better understand yourself and what you need.
- A relationship built on conscious choice – If you both choose to stay together, it’s no longer out of habit but a commitment to moving forward intentionally.
Here’s what we will do in infidelity therapy
- Creating a safe space to express your anger and betrayal – Infidelity can feel like a trap for your rage and hurt. In our sessions, you have a place to say everything you need to. You deserve to be heard.
- Understanding the “why” behind the betrayal – Infidelity doesn’t happen in isolation. Often, there are unmet needs or communication breakdowns. We’ll explore these factors, not to excuse the behavior, but to make sense of it and prevent it from recurring.
- Rebuilding trust with honesty and transparency – Rebuilding trust is slow, but possible. We’ll create a plan for transparency, accountability, and open communication to help restore safety in your relationship.
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Hi. I’m Amy Barth
As your therapist, I’m here to help you navigate this overwhelming experience.
Healing from infidelity is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. If you’re hurting and angry, know that there is a way through this pain. Together, we can work through each layer of hurt, build understanding, and, if it’s what you both want, create a relationship that feels stronger and more secure.
My goal is to provide a safe, non-judgmental space where you can process your emotions honestly and without restraint. Together, we’ll make sense of what’s happened and explore how to move forward in a way that respects your needs. When you’re ready, reach out—I’m here to support you every step of the way.
Healing is possible, and I’m here to
help you find it.
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How to Address Suspicions in the Relationship
Sometimes, a client reaches out because they sense something isn’t right. They might say, “I think my partner may be cheating, but I’m not sure,” or “There’s a distance between us that I can’t explain.” These suspicions can bring intense frustration and a desire to find the truth.
In situations like this, I approach things carefully. By the second or third session, I often ask the partner directly if there’s been an affair. This can be a challenging conversation, but it’s essential to address if suspicions are clouding the relationship. Often, a partner may initially deny anything physical but later admit to an “emotional affair.”
I emphasize that emotional affairs can be just as painful as physical ones. When intimacy and connection are shared outside the relationship, it creates a deep wound. I encourage complete honesty, as transparency is crucial for rebuilding trust. Over time, it’s not uncommon for additional evidence to surface, like texts or messages, confirming suspicions. This double betrayal, of both the affair and the initial denial, can be devastating, and I’m here to support you through it.
Success Stories
Recovering from Emotional & Physical Infidelity
Hayley had a nagging suspicion that her husband, Mike, was being unfaithful. Something just didn’t feel right. They’d been married for five years, had a one-year-old daughter, Lucy, and their relationship was feeling strained. Hayley, a stay-at-home mom, felt disconnected from Mike, who traveled frequently for work.
During our intake session, Hayley expressed her concerns and even mentioned some suspicious charges on their credit card. Mike denied any wrongdoing, although he admitted he also felt things had changed between them. They both felt like they’d grown apart emotionally and physically, with Mike chalking it up to the stresses of being new parents.
To help them reconnect, I gave them some simple “homework”:
- Spend quality time together after putting Lucy to bed.
- Focus on topics outside of parenting, work, or finances.
The following week, Hayley still felt that something was amiss. I asked Mike directly about the affair again, and this time, he admitted to having an emotional affair. This confession was a relief for Hayley, as it validated her feelings, but it also opened up a flood of anger, betrayal, and sadness.
Over the coming weeks, we worked together to repair their relationship. Mike shared how his affair had started out innocently, as he felt disconnected and even displaced by the arrival of their daughter. He didn’t feel seen or heard, and while I validated his feelings, I also made it clear that **this breach of trust was unacceptable.
Just as things were beginning to improve, a crisis struck.
Hayley discovered a text message from the woman with whom Mike had been having the emotional affair. She now had evidence that he hadn’t been fully honest. In an emergency session the next day, Mike admitted to a physical affair as well. Hayley was heartbroken but determined to save their marriage, while Mike was unsure but willing to continue therapy.
We worked through this turning point with clear steps to rebuild their relationship:
- Transparency and Honesty: I encouraged Mike to be completely transparent. He needed to end all contact with the other woman, Sarah, and block her ability to reach him.
- Setting Boundaries: I guided Mike in establishing boundaries to rebuild trust. This included providing Hayley with his travel information—hotel and room details—so she could feel reassured.
- Working Through Ambivalence: Mike initially felt conflicted about ending things with Sarah, but over several sessions, we addressed his ambivalence and focused on his commitment to rebuilding his marriage.
For months, their relationship was like a roller coaster, filled with intense emotions and difficult conversations.
But they stayed committed to the process, facing each challenge one step at a time.
After nearly a year of intensive therapy, Hayley and Mike found a new foundation in their marriage. Today, they come in for maintenance sessions every few months, and they are happy and thriving. It’s been a journey of healing, trust, and reconnection, and I’m honored to have been part of their story.
Names and details have been changed to protect the confidentiality of my clients.
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Reach out and ask me anything.
Edward and Carolyn: A Journey of Guilt and Forgiveness
Edward had gone for a massage and got a “happy ending.” When Carolyn found out, she was furious, repulsed, disgusted, and sickened to her core. Meanwhile, Edward was overcome with guilt and burdened by the weight of his actions.
Adding fuel to the fire, Edward and Carolyn are a deeply religious couple, and his confession brought feelings of overwhelming betrayal and hurt, especially given the strong values they both held.
In therapy, we focused on processing this pain and working through the initial stages of Edward’s disclosure. We explored the impact of his actions on Carolyn, addressing her feelings of anger, betrayal, and hurt. At the same time, we worked with Edward on understanding his own motivations, his guilt, and how to rebuild trust in a way that honored both their values and their commitment to each other.
After a few months of focused therapy, Edward and Carolyn felt ready to conclude their sessions. They reported feeling stronger and more connected, having worked through the worst of the pain. I’m pleased to know they’re continuing on a positive path forward.
Names and details have been changed to protect the confidentiality of my clients.
