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It’s a tale as old as time. You’re in the mood, and she isn’t. Sure, you can handle the occasional sting of rejection. But nowadays, it feels like every time you try to initiate sex, your partner turns you down. This isn’t what you signed up for!
Undesired. Frustrated. Angry. Unwanted. Disconnected. This is how most men I help describe their feelings after unsuccessfully trying to initiate sex.
“Why does she have all the control?” they ask. “Why do my needs always take a back seat to her emotional turmoil?” “It’s like she isn’t even trying … and it makes me mad.”
You can only live like this for so long before you just stop trying.
Over time, lust is replaced by resentment. It feels like you’re on opposite ends of a teeter-totter, and there isn’t any way to get balance. But, you don’t want to resent your wife … you just want to figure out why she is withholding sex.
Chances are, she really does want to have more sex with you. But, to get there, she needs to feel loved, heard, and connected.
Therapy can help you both bridge the gap between your differences in desire.
You’re busy enough at the office. The last thing you want at home is for sex to feel like another job. Your wife is supposed to be your lover, not someone else you have to manage.
Therapy can help you both feel emotionally and physically close — without the tension of unmet needs hanging over you. When you understand her need for emotional safety, and she understands your desire for physical closeness, the path to intimacy becomes a lot clearer.
Hi, I’m Amy Barth, and I’m here to help.
Let’s be honest. Even without the pressures of sex, marriage is really, really difficult. I say that as someone who has been married for decades … and who has spent plenty of time in couples therapy with my husband.
As a therapist, I use a mix of direct, no-nonsense strategies to help couples cut through the noise and quickly get to the heart of their issues. I don’t just talk theory — I give you practical exercises to help you reconnect both emotionally and physically.
By understanding what’s really going on beneath the surface, you can rebuild the connection you once had — in the bedroom and beyond. Reach out today to get started.
My approach is based in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), which helps couples create emotional safety, communicate openly, listen deeply, and respect each other’s needs. Here are some ways we make this happen in a Georgia couples therapy session:
John and Jane hadn’t had sex in nine months.
After just two sessions, they began to reconnect physically and emotionally.
Reach out today to get started
Remember when things were hot and heavy? She was ready to go anytime, anywhere. The passion was electric, and you didn’t have to guess whether she wanted you.
Sometimes the shift happens due to bigger relationship challenges like infidelity therapy needs, where rebuilding intimacy requires addressing trust issues first.
In all likelihood, you’ve always had differences in sexual desire. However, in the beginning, there was a lot more non-sexual intimacy. Hand holding. Gentle caresses. Long hugs.
A passionate kiss goodbye in the morning. These little acts of love are what kept the spark alive. Before you increase the heat, you need to rekindle the spark.
Ready to start? Focus on those small, shared moments that bring you closer—whether it’s a touch, a conversation, or just spending time together.
The physical part will follow naturally when the emotional connection is there.
Here’s a secret you probably already know. Except for those moments of pure passion, most women require an emotional connection to get in the mood. Without it, sex becomes the last thing on their mind.
Meanwhile, most men think “any time is a good time for sex.” On a physical level, it feels great, relieves tension, and leads to a good night’s sleep.
But, if you’re honest with yourself, sex also helps you feel connected, close, loved, seen, and desired. That’s why it stings so much when she turns away.
It feels like she’s rejecting YOU (not just saying no to the act of sex).
I help couples bridge the gap, so you both get what you need. When you understand her need for emotional connection and she understands your desire for physical closeness, the path to intimacy becomes a lot clearer. Reach out today to learn more.
You want sex 2-3x per WEEK. She’s ok with 1-2x per MONTH … if that.
Professional sexual desire therapy in Georgia for lasting intimacy changes.
Want to have more sex with your wife?
Schedule a consult to see how I can help you increase intimacy and work through differences in sexual desire.
For many women, emotional safety is the key to unlocking physical intimacy. If she doesn’t feel heard, understood, or respected, forget about the bedroom—she’s just not going to be interested. But when she feels safe and emotionally connected? That’s when things start to heat up again.
This is where Relational Life Therapy (RLT) comes in. RLT is all about creating that emotional safety by teaching couples how to communicate openly, listen deeply, and respect each other’s needs. It’s more than just talking—it’s about full-respect living. That means learning how to interact with love and respect, even when you’re in the middle of a heated conflict.
During an RLT couples therapy session, we dive into what’s really going on beneath the surface, helping you both understand how your behavior impacts each other. When you build emotional safety, you’re laying the foundation for real intimacy—the kind that makes her want to be close to you, physically and emotionally.
In short, when you start living with mutual respect, emotional safety becomes second nature—and so does reconnecting in the bedroom.
RLT is different from traditional couples therapy, in that it’s more direct and practical. I don’t simply sit back and observe. Instead, I call out dysfunctional patterns directly, offering clear and actionable feedback to rekindle your romance.
Be ready — I sometimes take sides in therapy and might focus on one partner for an entire session, while the other partner listens. This helps you learn how to listen to each other.
Relational Life Therapy is all about taking responsibility for YOUR role in your relationship.
It’s always easier to just blame your spouse for the lack of sex. But that mirror needs to reflect back on you too. No hiding. We’ll dive into trauma, do inner child work, and go as deep as we need to break down the walls that are keeping you from connecting. Before you know it, you’re booking your ticket to O-town.
I always start by asking, “How’s the last week been?” We check in on whether or not you tried any of the exercises we discussed in previous sessions. If so, we celebrate progress. If not, we explore why and adjust our approach.
I don’t allow couples to rehash fights during sessions. That kind of behavior only reinforces the negative patterns you are trying to break. Instead, we focus on new ways of interacting, trying out different behaviors that might lead to better outcomes.
I help couples identify their relationship dance, the pattern of behavior they fall into. For example, “every time he pokes at you, you withdraw. So, if he didn’t poke at you, maybe you wouldn’t withdraw.” Recognizing these behaviors allows couples to break the cycle and try new ways of relating to each other.
Expert sexual intimacy Therapy in Atlanta for relationship transformation.
Increase your connection in the bedroom and beyond.
Schedule a consult to see if RLT can help you reconnect with your partner.
In therapy, I don’t just talk theory—I give you practical exercises to help you reconnect both emotionally and physically. Here are two of my favorite strategies that have helped countless couples reignite that spark:
Forget the usual date night where you end up talking about the kids, bills, or all the stressors of life. Instead, I encourage couples to schedule a “date night” where those topics are completely off-limits. Instead, talk about anything that makes you feel light and connected—an amazing story, a beautiful sunset, or even a funny memory from the past.
But here’s the twist: each partner takes turns planning these nights, and the details? Keep them a surprise! Whether it’s what to wear or where you’re going, the element of mystery keeps things fresh and exciting. It’s all about rediscovering each other without the weight of everyday life dragging you down.
When you start enjoying each other’s company again, the emotional connection will naturally grow—and the physical connection will follow.
Sometimes, words aren’t necessary to reconnect. That’s where the Quiet Connection exercise comes in. Here’s how it works: sit together in a comfortable spot, turn on some calming music, and just sync your breathing. Don’t talk—just be together, breathing in unison, letting go of any pressure to “fix” things in that moment.
This non-verbal exercise is incredibly powerful because it helps you feel close without the need for words. When you sync up physically, you start to feel connected emotionally too. It’s a simple but profound way to rebuild intimacy, even when words are hard to find.
And yes, at some point down the line, an exercise like that might lead to sex.
Specialized sexual desire therapy in Georgia for couples ready to reconnect.
Reach out and ask me anything.
A couple came to me in crisis: he felt unloved and rejected, while she often blamed her ADHD and exhaustion for their lack of intimacy. One night, he had carefully laid the groundwork for sex—only for her to go to bed without a word, leaving him fuming.
The next day, they had sex, but the frustration was already brewing beneath the surface. His anger turned into passive-aggressive behavior—indirect jabs, coldness, and emotional distance. After being turned down so many times, he was shell-shocked, avoiding affection altogether because the sting of rejection had worn him down.
I helped them unpack the real issue: his desire for sex wasn’t just about the physical act—it was about craving connection, being seen, and feeling desired. I showed him how his passive-aggressive behavior was pushing her further away, and how to express his needs without bitterness. For her, I reframed his need for sex, helping her understand that it wasn’t just about his physical desires—it was about his need for emotional vulnerability and closeness.
Once she got it, things changed. She began to approach him with empathy, realizing that sex was more about emotional connection for him. Slowly, they broke the toxic cycle, with him no longer lashing out passive-aggressively and her initiating intimacy more willingly. In just a few sessions, they reignited the spark and found the emotional and physical connection they had been missing.
If you’re ready to do the work, I’m here to help.
Sexual desire differences are one of the most common issues couples face, and they stem from a complex interplay of emotional, physical, and relational factors. Understanding these differences is crucial for maintaining a healthy, connected relationship.
Emotional and Stress Factors
Daily stress, work pressure, parenting responsibilities, and life transitions can significantly impact libido. When one partner is overwhelmed or emotionally drained, sexual desire often becomes a lower priority. Additionally, unresolved relationship conflicts, feeling unheard, or lacking emotional connection can create barriers to physical intimacy.
Physical and Hormonal Influences
Hormonal changes due to pregnancy, menopause, medications, or health conditions can affect sexual desire. Fatigue, body image concerns, and physical discomfort can also play significant roles. It’s important to rule out medical factors when addressing intimacy challenges.
Relationship Dynamics
Power struggles, communication breakdowns, and different attachment styles contribute to desire differences. Sometimes differences in sexual desire require specialized attention beyond general relationship work. Many couples find that addressing these patterns through couples therapy helps them understand and bridge the gap between their needs.
Understanding that desire differences are normal and addressable is the first step toward reconnection.
Emotional reconnection is often the key to rebuilding physical intimacy, especially when one partner has withdrawn from sexual connection. The focus should be on rebuilding safety, trust, and emotional closeness rather than immediately pursuing physical intimacy.
Start with Emotional Safety
Create space for open, non-judgmental conversations about feelings, needs, and concerns. The partner with lower desire needs to feel heard and understood rather than pressured. This means listening without immediately trying to solve or argue with their experience.
Focus on Non-Sexual Intimacy
Rebuild connection through non-sexual touch, quality time, and shared experiences. This might include holding hands, cuddling without expectation, taking walks together, or engaging in activities you both enjoy. These small moments of connection help rebuild the emotional foundation necessary for physical intimacy.
Address Underlying Issues
Often, sexual withdrawal is a symptom of deeper relationship issues. This might include feeling taken for granted, communication problems, or unresolved conflicts. Sometimes men’s therapy can help partners understand their role in the relationship dynamics and develop better emotional awareness and communication skills.
Be Patient with the Process
Emotional reconnection takes time, especially if trust has been damaged or if one partner has felt pressured or criticized about sex. Rushing the process often backfires and can create more distance.
Remember that emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are deeply connected, and rebuilding one often naturally leads to improvements in the other.
Bridging the desire gap requires intentional practices that help both partners feel valued, understood, and gradually more comfortable with intimacy. These exercises are designed to rebuild connection without pressure.
The 6-Minute Daily Check-In
Spend six minutes each day (three minutes per partner) sharing how you’re feeling about the relationship, your day, or anything on your mind. This isn’t about solving problems but about staying emotionally connected and aware of each other’s inner world.
Scheduled Intimacy Time
Set aside regular time for physical closeness without the expectation of sex. This might be 20 minutes of cuddling, giving each other massages, or simply lying together and talking. The key is removing performance pressure while maintaining physical connection.
The Appreciation Practice
Each partner shares one specific thing they appreciate about the other daily. Focus on behaviors, qualities, or efforts rather than general statements. This helps shift focus from what’s wrong to what’s working in the relationship.
Sensate Focus Exercises
These are structured touching exercises that help couples reconnect physically without the pressure of sexual performance. Partners take turns giving and receiving touch, focusing on sensation and connection rather than arousal.
These techniques are often part of comprehensive couples therapy approaches that address both emotional and physical reconnection. The key is consistency and patience with the process.
The timeline for rebuilding intimacy and bridging desire differences varies significantly between couples, but there are general patterns that can help set realistic expectations.
Initial Improvements
Many couples notice some improvement in emotional connection and communication within 4-6 weeks of starting focused work on their relationship. This might include feeling more heard, having fewer arguments, or experiencing moments of closeness.
Physical Reconnection
For couples working on sexual desire differences, physical intimacy often begins improving around 2-3 months of consistent effort. This doesn’t necessarily mean frequent sex, but rather increased comfort with physical affection and gradual rebuilding of sexual connection.
Sustained Change
More significant, lasting changes in desire patterns and overall relationship satisfaction typically take 6-12 months of dedicated work. This includes developing new communication patterns, addressing underlying issues, and consistently practicing new behaviors.
Individual Factors
The timeline depends on several factors including the length of time the issues have existed, both partners’ commitment to change, whether there are underlying medical issues, and the presence of other relationship stressors. Understanding differences in sexual desire becomes particularly important during this process, as couples learn to navigate their unique intimacy patterns.
Long-Term Maintenance
Even after significant improvement, maintaining gains requires ongoing attention to the relationship. Most couples benefit from periodic check-ins and continued practice of the skills they’ve learned.
Remember that progress isn’t always linear, and setbacks are normal parts of the healing process.
Absolutely. Many couples not only rebuild intimacy after experiencing distance and desire differences but often create stronger, more satisfying connections than they had before. The key is approaching the process with realistic expectations and genuine commitment from both partners.
Understanding the New Normal
Intimacy after reconnection often looks different than it did in the early days of the relationship. This isn’t necessarily worse—it can be deeper, more authentic, and more sustainable. Couples learn to communicate more directly about their needs and create intimacy that works for both partners.
The Role of Professional Support
Many couples find that specialized couples therapy provides the structure, tools, and objective perspective needed to navigate this challenging process. A skilled therapist can help identify patterns, teach new skills, and provide accountability for change.
Addressing Individual Growth
Sometimes rebuilding intimacy requires individual work alongside couples work. This might include addressing personal insecurities, past trauma, or developing better self-awareness and communication skills.
Success Stories
Countless couples have successfully rebuilt intimacy after experiencing significant distance. The common factors include both partners’ willingness to be vulnerable, commitment to understanding each other’s perspective, patience with the process, and consistent effort over time.
Building Something Better
The process of rebuilding often reveals and addresses underlying issues that may have been present for years. This creates an opportunity to build a stronger foundation based on better communication, deeper understanding, and more realistic expectations.
To learn more about my background and approach to helping couples reconnect and rebuild intimacy, visit my meet Amy page. Contact us to discuss how couples therapy can help bridge the gap in your relationship and create the intimate connection you both desire.
The journey requires patience and commitment, but rebuilding intimacy is not only possible—it can lead to a more fulfilling relationship than you’ve ever had.
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For your convenience, my teletherapy services are available across the state of Georgia, including
Albany, Alpharetta, Athens-Clarke County, Atlanta, Augusta-Richmond County, Columbus, Johns Creek, Macon-Bibb County, Marietta, Roswell, Sandy Springs, Savannah, South Fulton, Stonecrest, and Warner Robins.
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